"Dengan segala kerendahan hati, setulus hati saya mohon maaf atas segala kesalahan dan kekhilafan selama ini"

SHOPPING time!

shopping!!
kapan ya terakhir kali gue nglakuin ritual cewek itu?
sepertinya... sudah lama... sekali...
well, gue emang bukan gila belanja (duitnya mana??!). akhir2 ini, biasanya kalo mau berangkat ke kampus, gue memandangi tumpukan baju gue di lemari. hmmm... kok itu-itu aja ya?
trus, biasanya gue akan berpikir, 'yah, nanti beli deh kalo lagi di jakarta, kalo lagi sama mama'. trus, biasanya pikiran itu terlupakan begitu saja.

hari ini hasrat belanja itu terkuak lagi. ceritanya, abis manasik umrah di mampang, gue ke citos dulu sama adek gue sambil nungguin nyokap reunian.
namanya juga ngisi waktu, jadilah jalan2 muter2 sana sini. ternyataaaa... entah kenapa gue menemukan banyak sekali barang2 lucu. ada sandal putih-pink St.Yves, celana 3/4 yang keren pisan, dompet panjang yang tampak begitu elegan di etalase, pewangi mobil berbagai aroma (yang ini pengen gue beliin untuk nyokap), lighter buat rokok berbagai rupa (nah, yang ini gue bingung buat siapa...), sepatu seharga 35ribuan, gantungan HP, sampe buku 'Its called breakup because its broken' (tampak seru!! penulisnya 'He's just not that into you').

beberapa barang di atas emang ga penting sih. tapi ada juga barang2 yang penting!
Tapi apa mau dikata kalo budget memang terbatas. jadilah gue sempet berkhayal seandainya gue punya uang 100 juta dollar, kayaknya gue ga akan berpikir sekeras ini untuk beli antara celana, sandal, dompet atau buku.
sekalian aja gue beli citosnya kalee...

yeah... i know... i should be grateful karena banyak orang lain yang ga seberuntung gue. tapi, uh, membayangkan betapa enaknya belanja tanpa batas bahkan tanpa harus ngliat label harga adalah lamunan indah bagi semua wanita.

kembali berpijak ke bumi, gue harus memilih diantara 3 kandidat terkuat. Celana, sandal atau buku?
nah, ketika gue lagi berpikir2, mana yang lebih baik gue beli, eh tiba2 nyokap nelpon minta dijemput. Tralalalala.... ya sudahlah, mungkin emang gue ga diijinkan Tuhan untuk belanja.

and then i threw up

Chatterbox, Pasaraya Grande. 16:21.

Finally I met her.
Kami memang belum pernah benar-benar 'bicara' sebelumnya. Komunikasi kami hanya lewat sms, atau friendster message, dan pernah telepon sekali waktu.
Disanalah kami berdua. Di meja pojok dekat jendela. Kami bercerita tentang banyak hal. Semua yang terjadi sejak satu setengah tahun yang lalu.
Ya, kami memang terhubung melalui banyak hal. Kami punya banyak cerita untuk dikeluarkan. Ada banyak klarifikasi untuk diungkap. Because we had been involved into the same guy, at the same time.

Is it about women solidarity? Sometimes I could feel something hit me inside when she told me about how she cried, or angry (mostly this one) or even when she told me how she laughed in pain.
Well, I’ve been there too, dear.
However, i am proudly say that, last evening both of us didn't looked like two desperated women. We were a couple of friend that shared our stories and sometimes laughed at it. Ga sedatar itu juga sih... karena saya merasa sedikit mual pada perut saya.

The meeting ended at 7 pm. I had another appointment, so did she.


Home. 22:30.

I just arrived. I ran to the bathroom. And then… I threw up.

slow dance

Have you ever watched kids
On a merry-go-round?
Or listened to the rain
Slapping on the ground?
Ever followed a butterfly's erratic flight?

Or gazed at the sun into the fading night?
You better slow down.
Don't dance so fast.
Time is short.
The music won't last.
Do you run through each day
On the fly?
When you ask How are you?
Do you hear the reply?
When the day is done

Do you lie in your bed
With the next hundred chores
Running through your head?
You'd better slow down
Don't dance so fast.
Time is short.
The music won't last.

Ever told your child,
We'll do it tomorrow?
And in your haste,
Not see his sorrow?

Ever lost touch,
Let a good friendship die
Cause you never had time
To call and say,"Hi"
You'd better slow down.
Don't dance so fast.
Time is short.
The music won't last.

When you run so fast to get somewhere
You miss half the fun of getting there.
When you worry and hurry through your day,
It is like an unopened gift....
Thrown away.
Life is not a race.
Do take it slower
Hear the music
Before the song is over.
--------------------


a friend of just e-mailed me this poem.
the poem was written by an ill young girl in a New York Hospital.
di tengah terjangan badai ABAU dan PTI, sepertinya waktu senggang jadi hal yang langka.
sekedar untuk janjian potong rambut aja mesti negosiasi sama kelompok. (bat, gimana ya??)
untuk cerita tentang masalah love life pun harus menunggu tengah malam. tapi ternyata dengan sekedar cerita aja, bisa bikin senang dan lebih ringan. makasih untuk ibu kosan!! :)

celotehan siang siang...

sebelumnya, thanks to batari, untuk mengizinkan gue ngekos di rumahnya.
yap! gue pindah kosan lagi. untuk keempat kalinya selama gue kuliah di ITB.
kalo dirata-ratain, sekitar 6 bulan sekali gue pindah kosan.
moga2 aja kali ini gue bakal betah. :)

a lot of things have changed in my life. in the beginning, it felt a bit strange for me. but lately, i'm enjoying it. i do still confuse sometimes. but, i try to not thinking about it too much.
que sera sera... (bener ga sih), kalo kata Ebi.

i was tired. but somehow, i didn't realize it. or maybe i forced myself to not feel it 'til finally i couldn't feel anything at all and let my brain controlled me.
well, it had already passed. however, i'm glad to had it in my life, especially as my past.

hahaha... ga ngerti kan gue ngomong apa?? yasudah ah... cuma ngisi waktu luang yang semakin jarang...